Story Telling Time
by enRei
Summary: A night where you are presented with twisted fairy tales and myths where holy-molly-it's-yaoi, crack, drugs and bitchism are a must! Follow our unwilling and a bit gloomy hero while he explores the wonders of it all. Who said bed stories weren't cool? Warning: AU, OOC, BL, SasuNaru, KakaIru, ItaDei, KibaHina, fangirls and co.
1. Forest Fest

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor any Fairy Tale character or God remotely mentioned in here. **_  
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* * *

_Excuse me, can I pass through? … Sorry… Pardon, can you move a little… I really need to get on that stage…. Sorry… Excuse me sir…. __**MOVE, YOU MOTHERFUCKING ASSHAT!**_

_Ahem._

_Welcome, everyone. My name is D Authoress, and that is how you will address me. No names calling like _Ice bitch, whore, dickhead, asshole, popcorn, dork, swine, fuc_… __**SHUT THE HELL UP! **__… And alike. Thank you._

_Today or better said, tonight I will be your host and narrator in this wonderful little story that poor unfortunate souls known as Naruto cast and others have sacrificed themselves for you._

_Before we commence this ungodly pleasure, let me warn you all to pay close attention to what will be presented without ill feelings. There may be some mentions of illegal food trafficking, most of the seven deadly sins, incestism, nymphomanism, fairy talesm, alcoholism, pedophilism, reverse zoophilism, zoophilism, despotism, crackism, gambleism, drugism, sadism and bitchism. _

_You have been warned. Let us proceed with our story._

* * *

_Across the seven seas, beyond the seven breezes, over the seven forests, around the seven hills, in a valley big as a mountain a village grunted. Eeer, I mean, lay. In this lived many beings know to us as humans; every single one different from other._

_The people, thus the village, were ruled by three families which shared the same amount of love for their home town, but not the power. _

_The weakest of the three was certainly the Hyuga's; a family divided into two houses- the Main and the Branch one. The Hyuga family was in charge of overseeing the business their village had with the outside (e.g. import, export) and for centuries, they have done a swell job. The village never lacked in materials needed for survival because of them, so they worshiped the dirt they walked on._

_The second in command were Uchiha's; an even bigger family than Hyuga's and even more respected. Well, not that much respected as feared. The Uchiha's were in charge of the village's police and military forces. Right in the center of the village stood a proud and tall building, marked with their family's symbol; a red and white fan. Which, to your dear D Authoress looked like a poke-ball, but who cares? They were a big family, and their numbers itself could make a small, decent village. _

_The first and most loved family was Senju, in which many outsiders mingled so there were hardly pureblooded, but the people still saw them as Senju's. Officially, they were the leaders of the village, titled Hokage, and stood high above everybody else. Unofficially, they took care of the paperwork. Because of the lousiness of their job which tended to make their heads blow, they tried to push it somebody (ANYBODY!) else. But the villagers would have none of that, so they were stuck. _

_The current leader-Hokage, was a beautiful maiden in her fifties, but looked like she just turned thirty, was Tsunade Senju. Her most trustful advisors (the bane of her life) were Hyuga Hiashi and Uchiha Fugaku, the previously mentioned family's heads. The three spent their days lazing around in the highest tower in the village, biting each other's heads of. It would all end in one nasty battle- Hiashi out cold, Fugaku doing paper work and Tsunade out in one of the villages most visited gamble house. Peachy, isn't it?_

_It was an unwritten rule that families never mingled, except Senju's who were beyond repair. So it did came as quite of shock to Uchiha's when their heir, Itachi, proclaimed he was madly in love with the Senju (probably not) Deidara, an inspiring artist that liked to bomb things every once in a while. How the heck that love bloomed, nobody had a slightest idea. _

"What did you say?" Fugaku asked, leaning back into his wives arms, weakened by the news. Their oldest son stood in front of them, his face impassive.

"I'm notifying you that I am going to marry Senju Deidara." Mikoto, a pale raven headed beauty, the current (and only, as far as she was concerned) wife of Uchiha family head, gulped. Fugaku would not approve of this.

"Itachi, son, are you feeling well?" Fugaku asked, concerned about his son's mental health. Itachi's eyebrow rose slowly.

"I am sane father, thank you for asking." Fugaku breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh good, I thought you said…"

"I did." Mikoto wondered whether the hitching in her husband's voice was a sign of incoming panic attack. Itachi's schooled expression never changed, even when he stood up and sent them a smirk.

"I am not here to ask for your permission father. Who I chose to marry is not your choice, but mine. I am simply telling you not to be surprised when a new Uchiha joins our ranks." With that, he bowed and left the room. Two minutes later, a loud roar left Fugaku's throat, alerting everybody in the hearing range he didn't take the news quite well. Mikoto sighed, wishing her son all the happiness in the world. It will take a month, or a year, but Fugaku will accept it.

Lurking in the shadows of the Uchiha Mansion was one Uchiha Sasuke, listening in the conversation that took place in his home. His eyebrows furrowed; his Aniki was going to marry an outsider! Even for a twelve year old, he knew what that meant; the best case scenario was for father to disown Itachi. He did not want to think about the worst.

Later that night, while most of the villagers were celebrating a long days' work in pubs and such, two tall and proud man stood before the Hokage. Tsunade's look was hard to decipher, but so were Itachi's; Deidara was squirming in his place, concerned about the decision the Itachi made. But, he was his lover, and future husband, he will take what may come with him.

"Are you sure about this?" She asked both of them, not happy with what was going to happen. "You know that once you are outside of the village's gates, we cannot protect you."

"We are certain. If we stay here, I have no doubts father will want both of our heads on his plate." Deidara gulped; he had hard time dealing with Uchiha's _before_ his outing with Itachi. Tsunade took one last look on her nephew (blood related or not) and his lover, before giving them a gentle smile.

"Good luck, brats!"

When morning came, news about Uchiha's heir and one Senju eloping was all over the village; people could barely contain themselves from gossiping about it. Especially with a fuming Police Head walking around, barking at whoever look at him. It was only a matter of time before news reached the ears of the young Sasuke; who took the terribly.

Without his brother here, there was nobody to protect him from the family's cold and greedy hands; he will be forced to take the Itachi's place, something he never wanted. Without even blinking (_Ok, he scowled_) he ran as fast as he could towards the gates and beyond.

* * *

_Ah, that was good. Let's take a little break, OK? You! Yeah, you! Bring me some refreshments… Hmmm, that's a good question… Water will be nice._

_Oh yeah, __**you lot**__. Well, you can go out for a ten minute break… I don't know, smoke a cigarette, eat a muffin, do something!_

_Oh, thank you dear…. Tap water, I presume? Don't sweat it, I have nothing against it. I'm paying for it, either way!_

_What are you staring at? Nobody wants a break? Are you sure? … Jeez, no need to glare at me. Ahem….. Khkmk! Fine, let us continue._

* * *

Sasuke was running like a Cerberus was hot on his heels, trying to find any lead to his brother on the way. While doing such a _splendid_ job, he caught an eye of a quite bored Medicine Goddess; otherwise known as Sakura.

She was a pretty thing to stare at; had soft, straight pink hair, shiny emerald eyes and pale, flawless skin. Naturally, for a beauty like her a few could match. That few happened to be the poor sweating boy in the woods. Grinning like a madman, she decided to offer that silly mortal an opportunity to bed her.

In all her arrogance, she appeared before him.

It took total of five second for Sasuke to stop, size her up, grunt and pass beside her. Dumbstruck by such behavior, she stopped him in his tracks.

"Wait boy! Do you not wish to know who I am?" Sasuke turned around and gave her a mighty glare, one his father would be proud of.

"I have no time for pesky idiot." Poor, ignorant fool will regret the day he insult the Goddess. Mad beyond reasons, her hair turned bloody red and her eyes bulged out.

"**You fool! I am a Goddess, and for insulting me, you shall be cursed!**" A mighty roar escaped her mouth and Sasuke was enveloped in a whirlpool of light, wind and leaves. It was a good thing he never suffered from motion sickness.

"**You are forever bound to walk this forests, in you hideous form! Never shall you find an exit or what you seek until you've been forgiven for your sins!**" With that, she returned to her more pleasant state and gave a giggle. "Bye now! ~" And she vanished with a 'pop'.

Sasuke, who was a little bit green in his face, shakily approached the conveniently nearby stream. What he saw in it almost made him scream. _Almost_.

Staring back at him was his normal and pale, handsome face. With lots and lots of black fur. Atop of the raven mop of hair were seated a pair of small, wolfish like ears. Blinkingly and unbelievingly looking further, he noticed that there was fur everywhere. The killer move was a fluffy tail, making 'whoosh' noises behind him. He promptly fainted.

_And so, the young human, now turned half-wolf, began his days of wandering. Seeking a way to get out of the forest and his form, but never calling upon the bitch that turned him into this. He was too proud to ask for help from her, and no amount of loneliness or weirdness made him want to do so. Four years passed, and the young half-wolf grew tall and strong; he was now of a settling age. His swooshy and black tail was longer and thicker, his ears more prolonger and the fur on his body reduced. If you looked really good, you could see his handsome and oh-so gorgeous features on him._

_Of course, he was greatly bore and he found that talking to trees did little to satisfy him. So he walked, lonely and utterly bored, never to leave this woods. Until he asked for forgiveness, but that was somewhere near impossible for him._

_He was almost ready to give up hope and lie down and die, when he chanced upon a young human teenager, who was twirling around in the field of flowers._

Sasuke's eyes widened, not believing what they saw. There was actually somebody here! And a human! A deliciously smelling human! Sexy curved and tight assed human! OK, so his hormones were kicking in, sue him!

The human in front of him had a blonde halo of hair, just til his shoulders. He was wearing an orange shirt which was barely covering his rear, and was shoeless. Sasuke could easily see the ripeness of his barely noticeable muscles, the brightness of his sun-kissed skin, the tightness of those fine legs, the roundness of his rosy cheeks, the plumpness of his curvy mouth and the electrifying look of those sky-blue eyes. He was starting to breathe heavily, his blood boiling, heart thumping, stomach flipping… The normal symptoms of a crush were obviously haunting the young Uchiha wolf.

For a half an hour, he sat there, hidden in the shadow of a tree, watching the adorable human twirling around, dancing and bending (_there, he drooled_) before he took time to approach him. Slowly, he closed in on his pray, all the while smirking to himself. He was so lost in his world of what will he do to the human when he gets his paws on him, that he didn't notice the electrifying gaze on himself.

But when he did, he stilled his movements. The blonde tilted his head, a confusion swirling in those glazed eyes. Wait, glazed? Sasuke took in the slushiness of the blonde's body, the glazed gaze and dilated pupils. Was he high on something? The giggle that left the blondes mouth confirmed his suspicions.

"Hey there, Wolf-san!" Even his slurred voice was delicious and like a heaven melody to the wolf's ears. High or not, he will have him! The blonde took a casual step forward. "Are you 'ere to eat me?" He asked, his eyes widening in a playful terror. Sasuke smirked.

"I am thinking about somewhere along those lines." The blonde giggled again.

"You're funny!" Then, he took upon a serious face and beckoned him to come closer. Sasuke did so, and found himself face to face with the human. Now that he looks better, he's even prettier. Those lines on his face just made him more delicious. "Wanna know a secret?" 'If it has anything to do with your tendencies in bed, please do tell!' Sasuke thought.

"Yes." Naruto nodded, and after a minute where Sasuke was starting to get worried, he said:

"I was supposed to deliver cookies to somebody, y'know? But then, I got hungry, reeeeeally hungry!" What kind of secret was this? "And I ate them!" He proclaimed proudly, before taking on a graver tone. "But that was baaaaad! Iruka always says that I shouldn't eat other's stuff." Sasuke was in the middle of wondering whether this idiotism was worth a night with the blonde. Looking back at his body, he concluded, hell yes!

"But, you were hungry." He said, at what the blonde perked up.

"Yeah! And the cookies were soooo gooood! I couldn't stop eating them!" They were probably drugged, Sasuke mussed. That or the blonde was on constant crack.

"Hn." He said, quite smartly. The blonde's head stopped spinning around and concentrated, barely, on Sasuke.

"Hey, hey, what's your story?"

"Why do you think I have one?" The blonde rolled his eyes.

"Everybody here does! They are either cursed, or their loved ones are or they run away or…" So there are more people cursed in here? Why hadn't he run across them in the four years he was here?

"Some Goddess cursed me and turned me into this." The blonde's face took a thinking stance.

"Hmmm, there are three Goddess who curse; Ino, who is too busy hunting down her lover, Karin, who never curses a normal human so I'm guessing it was Sakura." What the… ? How did he know that?

"Sakura?"

"Pink haired whore that has egoistical issues." That sounded like her. "I'll say you refused her offer to sleep with her." She didn't even ask, that bloody bitch!

"No. I told her I had no time to chit-chat and she cursed me." The lithe blonde nodded apprehensively .

"Yep, that's her. I have a friend; she cursed him because he fell asleep during her intro." What was this world turning into? Sasuke gazed back at the blonde.

"And you…" Suddenly, the blonde's face turned into a grin.

"C'mon, Wolf-san! Let's meet everyone!" He grabbed the furry hand and pulled him towards him, running into the forest once again. Sasuke was left to try and follow him; for a short human, he ran pretty fast. Soon enough, they found themselves in a large meadow, surrounded by a dozen people-something.

The blonde turned around, smiling blissfully.

"I'm Naruto! What's your name?" Naruto, such a delicious name for a delicious person…

"Sasuke." He answered in a husky tone, earning himself another smile. Naruto tugged him towards the bored looking red head that held a basket in his hands, and had a long red cape around him.

"Sasuke, this is Gaara. He is what you would call a merchant around here." Gaara send him a mildly interested look, before he nodded. Sasuke returned swiftly.

"He is the only one who can leave the forest, but only during the night." Naruto continued. "That's how we get our food; he steals from the village!"

"Then I resell it here." Gaara added, almost prideful at the fact he steals food, and then sells it again. Naruto tugged him again, now forcing him against a clearly asleep brunette. Who was standing while doing so?

"Shikamaru here is cursed to sleep. He can stay awake for total of ten minutes, and then he falls again." The brunette grunted something in his sleep, and then nodded. Sasuke found this very interesting.

Next one was a rather pissed brunette, with a scar across his nose. He was wearing an apron and cleaning tools in one hand. Naruto jumped him.

"This is Iruka! He is like a mother to all of us!" Iruka smiled appreciatively to Sasuke, offering his hand for a shake.

"Sasuke." He said, to which the man nodded.

"Glad to have you with us. If you're hungry, there is some pie over there." He said and showed towards the badly made wooden table in the middle of the company.

"I'm going to introduce him to everyone first!" And a second later. "Is there ramen?" Iruka face palmed.

"No Naruto, there is not." Naruto pouted, which Sasuke found highly arousing, and continued the intro.

"This here is Sai." Naruto showed him a ghostly pale raven, who just smiled at them. "Sakura cursed him ten years ago coz he called her ugly." Sasuke found himself smiling at the teen, liking him more and more each minute. Naruto's smile flattered. "He's mute." God that bitch just loved making others miserable!

Besides them there were Kiba, who Ino, the Goddess of Love, cursed because he fell in love with his dog. She made him dance all day, without stopping. The nights were reserved for sleeping, mostly.

Then, there was Orochimaru, a pedophilic man who like bedding young boy- so Ino and Karin together imprisoned him into the Forest. His targets were usually 10 year olds, so Sasuke thanked the Gods for never venturing here before he grew up. Also, he was a snake during daytime. Oddly enough, Naruto was rather good with him; which Iruka contributed to Naruto's naivety. That, and Orochimaru improved himself in the last ten years.

Kakashi, a silver haired dude, was unfortunate enough to meet Sakura who cursed him for reading a book while she was in front of him. His punishment- enormous sex drive. Luckily, Iruka took care of it daily.

And the last one was some girl named Hinata, of whom Sakura was jealous of, so she made the girl crave for apples every single second of her life. The pie Iruka made was an apple one, probably because of this.

Later, Naruto told him that Iruka was cursed because he fell in love with Kakashi, and Ino made him stay in the forest. If you were not cursed, then you were hauled out of it quickly.

Hours after, when their tummies and curiosity were satisfied, Sasuke was still wondering why was Naruto here. The boy was a bubbly bag of sunshine, making everyone's life brighter; so why would somebody curse him? He noticed that Ino and Karin mostly cursed for good, Sakura was a tricky one.

With those questions in mind, Sasuke lay down next to a smiling Naruto on the grass; the blonde's head turned to him, his whole face radiating with happiness.

"Naruto…"

"Yes Sasuke?" He stilled, trying to formulate his question right.

"Why are you trapped inside the forest?" Naruto's baby blue eyes shadowed a little bit, before he softly grinned.

"Let me tell you a bit about Gods first, OK?" Sasuke waited for the story to begin, not getting what the Gods History had to do with this. "There are many Gods in the world, three of them females; Ino the Goddess of Love, Sakura the Goddess of Medicine and Karin the Goddess of Knowledge." That he gathered. "Ino's lover is the God of War, Choji- a rather enjoyable guy. Then, there is the God of Sun, Minato and his father Jiraya, the God of Hunt." Here, he turned to the Sun, smiling gently at it. "Other noticeable ones are the God of Moon Obito, the God of Waters Zabuza, the God of Forests Tenzo, the God of Fire Kurama and the God of Death, Madara." Sasuke's mind was full with information he never knew. Sure he knew there were Gods, but not their names or purpose; back in the village they kind of prayed to them in general. Naruto's lovely gaze turned to him. "It happens sometimes a God falls in love with a human. That's why Sakura sleeps with so many men." OK, he knows that can happen.

"And?" He said, pushing further.

"Well, you see Haku, one of my friends, is Zabuza-sama's lover. He was living with us until two years ago, when Zabuza-sama took him to where the Gods live." Wow! That, he didn't expect. "Orochimaru too was a lover of some minor God, before he decided grown men aren't his forte. He is actually 150 years old." Double wow! He looked barely fifty! Naruto continued, still gazing at the Sun. "That old hag Hokage is a Semi-God, the granddaughter of the Goddess of Storm, Mito." He knew she was not normal. Wait, Naruto knew Tsunade? Was he from his village also?

"And this is where I come." Naruto said, turning to look at Sasuke. "My mother is the current and only lover of Minato. Kurama, my older brother, chose immortality over humanity and became a God."

"Your father is a God?" Sasuke asked, bewildered by this. Naruto chuckled.

"Yep, not only dad, but nii-chan, Mito-baa and Jiraya-jiji also." Sasuke could only gape, unable to say anything.

"I was supposed to become a God myself, y'know?" Shit! He spent the last few hours thinking of deviling a Demi-God! He turned an apologizing eye towards the Sun, hoping he won't cook him.

"Actually, when I think about it, I am." Naruto added, thinking it over in his head. Double shit! Alarms in Sasuke's head were way beyond repair. "But, I decided to live here, on Earth. Let's just say nii-chan made it harder for me to stay." Sasuke cocked an eyebrow, mussing about what the blonde said. Naruto started giggling, pulling out a bottle of sake from who knows where. He took a long and healthy gulp of it, before offering it to Sasuke. He accepted it, finding it hard to function properly without alcohol. All around them others were already passed out, drugged by those cookies and drunk from the dozens of empty bottles in the field. Hinata was currently kicking Kiba in her sleep, Kakashi was humping Iruka away and Gaara was sleeping atop of Shikamaru. Curious people, indeed.

Naruto continued with his story, after emptying the second bottle he pulled out. By then, Sasuke was barely able to keep his eyes closed and his hands to himself. He was tracing the lines on Naruto's face gently, liking the softness of his skin. He wondered if it tasted nicely as it looked.

"I mean, I'm not th't improt'nt… Imma fox god!"

Maybe if it licked it, he'll find out…

"H'ave to pr'tect aaaaalll those foxies!"

But then again, his lips would be much better to taste…

"N 'ere's cool, right?"

Yes, his plum, rosy and so kissable lips…

"Being human is fun! Right, right?"

… So delicious…

"S'ukeeeee…._mmmMMMmMm_…."

_And that's how one wolf looking Sasuke Uchiha ended up kissing, and later, making love to one Fox God, Naruto. In front of all those cursed, but dead drunk, people. While his parents were looking from above; both giggling._

_It would take few more years for Sasuke to start missing his home and wanting to go back; but during that time he was too busy partying, eating drugged cookies, drinking sake, torturing asleep Shikamaru, jumping Naruto on every step and gambling away in true Tsunade fashion. Oh, and about those cookies Naruto ate? They were Sai's, but he never said anything about it so all was well._

_Eventually, Sakura turned him back into his devilishly handsome human form (made so by Minato who was sick of his son having to be bedded with a half-animal); and when she did, the first thing Sasuke did was take Naruto to his village where they met up with Tsunade. It turned out Mito, Tsunade's Goddess of a grandmother, was also Naruto's mother ancestor. Weird, huh?_

_Sasuke met up with his father and mother, to say his greetings, explain about the curse and tell them his lover was technically a Senju too. Sasuke thought Fugaku took it pretty well; Naruto was too busy trying to survive his wrath. He once heard about Itachi- he was happily living his life in some other village, married to the love of his life, Deidara. Not to be outdone, Sasuke too proposed to his foxy little lover._

_After they stayed for over a month, together they returned to the Forest (Now with the capital letter) where Naruto cursed Sasuke to call it home, so that he could stay with the druggie group forever._

_It would be wishful to say they lived happily ever after; Naruto did try to kill Sasuke when he found out he was pregnant. Both times. Don't ask how, he's a God._

* * *

_Well, audience, this is where our story ends. I realize it is not that well written, and that you may have noticed some flaws in it but… Suck it up like a man…. Or a woman, yes thank you._

_Now, all of you, __**GTFO**__ and do remember what have you learned from this little piece of art work I like to call 'The shittiest story on Planet'. Good night and sleep tight!_

"….. Is it just me or does it seems like everybody is headed towards those suspiciously coincidentally nearby plate of cookies?"

"Yeah, you want one?"

"Hell to the yes!"

* * *

**A/N: What the fuck was I on?**


	2. Launder World

_Well, would you look at that! All of you biatches… And biastards, thank you, decided to return! Good for you, good indeed… What will I be reading tonight? Oh, dear audience, tonight I will show how with the power of changing one small detail, the __**whole**__ story could gain a new direction! … I'm not fucking with you, listen!... Good dog… I mean boy, yes boy._

_Now, as previously mentioned, no names calling and certainly no interrupting while I'm story telling… __**I **__can, you can't… Also, t__here might be some mentions of illegal food trafficking, money laundering, most of the seven deadly sins, nymphomanism, fairy talesm, alcoholism, reverse zoophilism, zoophilism, despotism, crackism, gambleism, drugism, sadism and bitchism; but you already know that, right?_

_Good, on with the motherfu… I mean story, yes story._

* * *

_Across the seven seas, beyond the seven breezes, over the seven forests, around the seven hills, in a valley big as a mountain a village grunted. Eeer, I mean, lay. In this village lived many beings know to us as humans; every single one different from the other._

_The people, thus the village, were ruled by three families which shared the same amount of love for their home town, but not the power._

_The weakest of the three was certainly the Hyuga's; a family divided into two houses- the Main and the Branch one. The Hyuga family was in charge of overseeing the business their village had with the outside (e.g. import, export) and for centuries, they have done a swell job. The village never lacked in materials needed for survival because of them, so they worshiped the dirt they walked on._

_The second in command were Uchiha's; an even bigger family than Hyuga's and even more respected. Well, not that much respected as feared. The Uchiha's were in charge of the village's police and military forces. Right in the center of the village stood a proud and tall building, marked with their family's symbol; a red and white fan. Which, to your dear D Authoress looked like a poke-ball, but who cares? They were a big family, and their numbers itself could make a small, decent village._

_The first and most loved family was Senju, in which many outsiders mingled so there were hardly pureblooded, but the people still saw them as Senju's. Officially, they were the leaders of the village, titled Hokage, and stood high above everybody else. Unofficially, they took care of the paperwork. Because of the lousiness of their job which tended to make their heads blow, they tried to push it somebody (ANYBODY!) else. But the villagers would have none of that, so they were stuck._

_The current leader-Hokage, was a beautiful maiden in her fifties, but looked like she just turned thirty, was Tsunade Senju. Her most trustful advisors (the bane of her life) were Hyuga Hiashi and Uchiha Fugaku, the previously mentioned family's heads. The three spent their days lazing around in the highest tower in the village, biting each other's heads of. It would all end in one nasty battle- Hiashi out cold, Fugaku doing paper work and Tsunade out in one of the villages most visited gamble house. Peachy, isn't it?_

* * *

_Now, let us follow not-so-little Miss not-so-sunshine for a second, while she makes her way, striding proudly (and tipsy, mind you) through the streets of the village she commanded. Her final target was 'Rooster' of course, a prized and most visited gamble house, where the patron would blissfully wait for her legendary bad fortune to kick in and earn him some soon to be well spent money._

_Now, let's get back to the grumbling Uchiha and passed out Hyuga- ah, they're cool, moving on! Hmm, there is the stoic young Uchiha heir, Itachi-smoking-hot-sama, sexy-gazing his way into the heart of one blonde Senju (still not certain about that one). Due to Fugaku having a strange, but highly alerting epiphany about what will happen if he dared oppose his oldest son's wishes about whom he was going to marry, the unwritten rule about not mingling with other families was officially rubbed off from their mind/hearts/papers/and so._

_It took them by surprise by how many Uchiha's took the news well; they organized an actual party for it. It turned out most of them were dating either civilians or suspicious Senju's. Fugaku cried for nights, his wife swearing she heard him mumbling 'Forgive me, uncle!'._

_It was quite the irony that the said uncle of his was currently chasing after a fiery red head Senju in the afterlife. Probably the reason Fugaku still cried._

_It would all be swell and lovely; if not for the sudden disappearance of his youngest son. OK, not that much disappearance as never returning from his training in the hills._

A tall black-haired boy (_teen_) going by the name of Sasuke Uchiha, was peacefully lying down on a piece of grass; enjoying the light breeze and shade of the tree. When all of a sudden, he was startled from his well-deserved nap by a loud yell of:

"Crap, I'm late!" His eyes opened and unbelievingly stared at the hoping brunette that ran past him. Wait, were those… rabbit ears! Oh God, they were! And what was that on his cheeks? Triangles?

"Shit, that psycho is going to _behead_ me!"

Sasuke decided to follow the strange creature; it wasn't like it could hurt him, right? He was a fifteen old boy, in the prime of his youth, and much stronger than some rabbit hybrid. All that, and he was bored. Truly and utterly bored; so much that he contemplated going home if nothing interesting caught his eye. Now it did! He silently tagged behind him, taking care not to be notice; that was, until the hybrid creature disappeared.

"What the… ?" His obsidian eyes looked over the terrain and located a big hole somewhere near where the hybrid vanished. Should he? I mean, yes this was very interesting, but then again, it could be highly lethal…

A strong push from behind and he was spiraling through the darkness, all the while trying and succeeding in not bursting his own ear drums. After a while of checking his underwear (_dry!_) he noticed something very weird about it. No, not the underwear, the falling. It lasted way to long, for one.

What welcomed him was a harsh ground, burst of colors and the crushing pain in his butt. That- and a bunch of giggling going around the air.

"Dammit!" He allowed himself to slip of the Uchiha mask.

"It seems like…"

"… We have a guest." Sasuke quickly stood on his legs, albeit awkwardly and painfully, and looked between the two impassive faces of redheads; they were standing right in front of him in an identical looking striped clothing. Looking suspiciously like sailors to Sasuke- not that he ever saw one. What was more important, both were holding guns (_four and more counting_), their eyes narrowing at him.

The one standing left spoke:

"What…" then the other continued, making Sasuke's head and attention bounce to him.

"… should…" now left.

"… we…" and right.

"… do…" and left.

"… with…" and right.

"… him…" left.

"… I…" right

"… wonder?"

Sasuke's head felt like spinning, but an Uchiha never shows his weakness, so he was entrusted not to show one either. The twins turned to each other, staring back for a while, before nearing their pray (_Sasuke_) and promptly knocking him out cold with the back of their shiny and highly dangerous weapons.

* * *

_Few! What, can't a girl take a break? … You know how I am about reading in public… Oh, you don't. Well, not well, not well at all… Now, where are my refreshments? Ah, yes, gracias muchacho!... or something like that, I'm not that keen on Spanish… Yes I __**know**__ some words, but it goes like 'Dame un cigarillo' and 'Tengo hambre!' … Or something… Ah, let's not forget 'patatas fritas' the first thing I learned in Barca! … Ahem, I'm boring you, am I?_

… _Eeeeerrr, let's continue!_

* * *

The exact moment when our young hero opened his eyes can't be known for sure; it was a daytime, but then again, it was a daytime when he was knocked out, right? The sun seemed to be in the same position, if it's any comfort.

He blinked once. Then he blinked again. And just to make sure, he blinked once more.

He was sitting in a not that much comfy chair (_a wooden one, with carved leaves thingies_) by the table; which was full of tea cups, dangos and some other eatable (_?_) things. The raven raised his head to be welcomed by the sight of another rabbit hybrid- it was also a brunette, but instead the one he followed here, it had warm, brown eyes, hair tied in a high ponytail and a scar across his nose bridge. On his head two brownish rabbit ears could be found, one tilted just slightly. And he was looking at him, smiling softly.

"Hello, dear. How are you feeling?" Sasuke decided to answer that, seeing as the hybrid had no ill intentions towards him. And he looked too weak.

"I feel like somebody split my head in two." Iruka let a nervous chuckle; confirming Sasuke's suspicions about how exactly he got _here_.

"You have to forgive Gaara-dum and Sasori-dee. They are a bit socially… stunned." 'No shit, Sherlock.' "Anyways, I'm the March Hare, Iruka." He stood up and bowed a little, before sitting down again.

"I am Sasuke Uchiha." He said, hoping to make some impact. None, by now. Iruka smiled again.

"Sasuke, welcome to Launderworld." The _what_? It seemed like Iruka knew what was passing through the troubled raven's mind, so he added:

"Umm, here the normal job is anything that has to do with laundering money." What the… Was this some MafiaLand? KHR shit?

"We were thinking about naming it Mabworld, but it sounded so much… nobler, like this." Where the fuck was he?

"Maa maa, did our guest wake up already?" Sasuke flinched, his gaze meet the one of a grey one. Literally one, the guy in front of him wore a blue scarf, covering his whole face, and his colorful hat was over his left eye; the only thing visible on his face was the right one. He was dressed in a green and blue suit, making Sasuke wanting to gag at the colors. So far, there were no ears, tails or anything to indicate he wasn't human. The colorblind dude U-smiled (_you all know what I mean_) towards Sasuke, before taking a seat next to Iruka.

"Good, for a second I thought the twins killed you." Sasuke grumbled something under his breath, noticing how the colorblind dude kept towering over the slightly blushing Iruka.

"Sasuke, meet Kakashi the Hatter." The now identified man smirked, his face practically in Iruka's. That's when Sasuke noticed one little thing about the hat…

"The hell? Is that a book?" Kakashi turned to him, pulling out the book from the brim.

"Ah yes, the valuable Icha Icha Paradise." He was listing the book while talking. "Quite hard to find nowadays…"

"That's because there are only five copies." Iruka scoffed. Kakashi nodded, his whole face engrossed in the orange book. Sasuke rolled his eyes; how the hell did he end up with this weirdo?

"Tea Sasuke?" Iruka offered, already holding a steaming cup. Sasuke took it, figuring it couldn't hurt.

The tea was tasteless but warm, so he kept sipping in silence; with Iruka beeping and blushing, and Kakashi reading and grinning. He reckoned Kakashi was feeling up the rabbit under the table. The weirdest tea party ever. Not that he had any before, but still…

Finally, after half an hour of awkward silence, Kakashi closed the book; meaning, the talk is starting.

"I'm thinking you're not from around here, right?" Sasuke nodded, knowing this is how conversations about problem with solution nearby started. This suited him just fine. "I'm thinking, you are from the world beyond the Hole." What kind of name was _that_? Never mind, he will _not_ indulge himself in _that_ conversation.

"Yes, I followed a rabbit with tattoos on his face here."

"The Inuzuka Rabbit." Supplied Iruka and squeaked again.

"Ah, yes Kiba." It was so easy to see the plan formulating behind those/that grey eye.

"Do you know how can I return home?" He did have some plans like going back to the village. His days were packed with sulking, running from his fan girls and so, he was a busy person.

Kakashi's eye twinkled.

"I might." Ah, there it was.

"Of course. How can I repay your service?" Sasuke said sarcastically.

"You see, there are only five copies of this book," He waved the orange one around. "And I myself am a great fan of it. A collector, if you will." 'Collector, my ass! You only had one!'

Iruka's looks darkened.

"If I think what you're implying…" Kakashi grinned.

"I would appreciate it if you gather the rest for me." Of course that's what he wanted; normal people would ask for money, but it seems for these money launders, such thing was unnecessary.

"And where can I find them?" Kakashi grinned again.

"I knew you would see things my way. You would have to convince their owners to give them to you." Sasuke huffed; he hated talking when it wasn't a must.

"Who are these owners?" Iruka supplied him with answer.

"The Duchess Sakura holds one, she lives quite nearby." Meaning, she's the first on the list. "Then, there's Caterpillar Shikamaru. Give him some smoke, and he'll comply." What the fuck did he get himself into? "Kiba also holds one- you can play the guilt card with him." He smirked; he knew how to do that. "The Queen, Karin, is keeping one- it seems the author himself gave it to her mother. That one should be hard." Meaning: steal. There, Iruka stopped and looked back at Kakashi. His silver haired lover nodded, before continuing.

"And, finally…"

"You said there were five." Sasuke chimed in. If one was with him, and the four rest with those people, then that meant…

"Ah yes, but you see… There is special edition copy that the author wrote just before his parting." Sure, whatever flows your boat. "To get that one will be the hardest part." What, was it buried with the guy? Iruka sighed, giving Kakashi a nasty eye.

"Is that one really needed, Kakashi? You know he treasures it…"

"I realize how much that books means to him, Iruka, but he doesn't even read it!"

"Thank God for that…" mumbled the rabbit hybrid.

"And he won't lend it to me! Such impudence!" Iruka's eyes narrowed.

"If you got your hands on it, you would _never_ give it back." Kakashi pondered for a second; maybe less.

"True. But still; it's a work of art, made to be enjoyed by minds like mine!"

"Who are we talking about?" Sasuke asked, confused by this outburst. Kakashi turned to him.

"The brat." He said simply.

"The who?" Iruka nudged Kakashi in the stomach.

"_Naruto_ is Jiraya-sama's godson." Who's Jiraya?

"The writer." Oh.

"Finding him won't be simple; he likes to… wander a lot." Iruka said carefully. "I haven't seen him for the last three months…" He added his eyes saddening. "He used to come here daily, banter with Kakashi, trade weapons with the twins and drink tea with me…" Kakashi was patting his head, comforting his lover.

"Anyways!" Kakashi yelled, finishing the sob moment there. "You have to convince him to give you the book, if you want to find your way home!"

Sasuke grumbled again, knowing this will be way too much troublesome.

Somewhere not that far, a caterpillar sneezed.

* * *

_And so, the young Uchiha started his adventure, bravely heading towards his destination- the Duchess's house; a big, pink mansion, an hour of walk away from the Tea Garden. He was warmly welcomed inside by an old lady- he guessed his looks paid off for something. He wasn't cursed with this pretty face for something, it seemed._

Sasuke started the blinking ritual all over again- pink hair? Seriously? C'mon!

"Ah, you must be the newest visitor, Sasuke!" Said the wide-forehead pinkette in an equally shockingly pink dress; she was holding a pink tea cup in her hands, sending him a flirty smile. God no!

Damn you Kakashi, you set me up with a fan girl!

"Yes, your ladyship." She smiled, bobbing her head a little.

"The Hatter already notified me about your circumstances…" Then why the heck did he have to come here? "I would have liked if we had more time to chat, but unfortunately, I have made some engagements earlier this month." That worked for him just great!

He stood there, with a fake smile plastered on his face, waiting for the orange book to be thrown at him. She smiled, her lips barely curling up, before beckoning a servant.

"In exchange for the book, I expect of you to do me a little favor…" Of course nothing was free here… Then again, nothing was free back home too. A servant entered, pale raven, with a creepy smile across his face.

"Milady?"

"Sai, would you mind taking this fine gentleman to Ino's room?" He nodded, before bowing down to Sasuke.

"Follow me, sire." Sasuke stepped out of the parlor right behind him, but not before he heard a cherubic voice exclaim:

"_Sakura-chan!~_"

He decided to pay it no mind, even if it was the most beautiful voice he ever heard, and followed Sai upstairs. Entering a purple decorated room, Sai showed him to a crib.

"You are expected to spend twenty minutes in total with Baby Ino." With that, he exited the room.

Carefully approaching the crib, he pondered how the heck did he get suckered into babysitting a… _Pig?_

There, in the crib, laid a small, blonde haired and blue eyed pig; dressed in a purple mini dress. What the heck?

The pig named Ino (_really? I mean, really?_) sent him a blank look; it lasted for about two to three minutes, before it grunted and turned to the other side. Clearly, it wasn't interested in Sasuke. He felt, strangely, offended. What, the pig's too good for him? He scowled washing those thoughts away; if the pig didn't liked his company that was cool.

For the next twenty minutes, before Sai came that is, the two spent their time ignoring each other; Ino dozing off in her crib and Sasuke brooding into space.

When he reached the parlor again, Sakura was standing there, looking happier that before, now holding an orange book. She gave it to Sasuke, still smiling.

"Thank you for your help, the meeting that took place was really refreshing from babysitting my daughter." That thing was her daughter? Wow!

"You're welcome, milady." She waved her hand dismissingly:

"No need for that. Now, I understood from Hatter you seek other books as well?" He confirmed that. "The Caterpillar's residence is but an hour away, in the forest. While you search for him, make sure to pick some of the green spotted mushrooms." He didn't want to ask why he would need them; it was obviously that smoke Kakashi mentioned.

"Thank you for your hospitality, milady." Making his bows, Sasuke quickly left the pink Manor.

It was easy to find mushrooms, and even easier to locate the Caterpillar; he was sitting on the giant green mushroom, smoking a hookah. The second he spotted Sasuke, his mouth opened and the smoke molded into a shaky 'Troublesome'.

Sasuke barely contained his snort of amusement.

"Man, what a drag… You here for the book?" The sleepy voice of the brunette asked.

"Yeah, Kakashi said he'll send me home if I give him the rest of copies." Shikamaru, if Sasuke remembered well, yawned.

"Troublesome. Here." He said, throwing him yet another one. Sasuke, seeing his curious and expectant look, gave him a couple of mushrooms he picked nearby.

"_Shikaaaaa!~_" That same melodious voice ringed around them. Out of nowhere, thin air to be precise, a blonde figure appeared. It was finely muscled, lean and well-tanned; but what interested Sasuke more was that round ass and a fluffy, golden tail coming out of it. "I need a new shipment of…" He turned around, noticing the quest. Sasuke was assaulted by the clearest blue eyes he ever saw, peaking at him, obviously interested.

"Ah!" He exclaimed, and Sasuke's knees buckled. His eyes glinted amusedly. "You must be the outsider Sakura-chan mentioned!" So he was the engagement the Duchess had while he was there. Sasuke's smoldering gaze swallowed the blonde up and down; at last, something interesting. The blonde was wearing tight, black leather; with a choker around his neck. He looked so deliciously… ukeish. Quite fine for him, indeed.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted, not able to say anything else. Shikamaru sighed.

"Why are you here?" The blonde turned, his cat ears twitching.

"Oh!" Again with that hotness spreading in his body… "I need a new shipment of those meds." Shikamaru rolled his eyes, before extracting a package from his pocket and throwing it to the blonde. "Thanks Shika!~"

The blonde whipped his body around and gave a wide grin; his whiskers starching on his face.

"See you around, outsider!" His body started disappearing gradually; the only thing left behind was his grin- which too left too soon. Sasuke was left gapping at the empty space, not believing his eyes.

"What was that?" He asked Shikamaru, who was back at smoking his hookah.

"That was the Cheshire Cat." He said simply and without further ado, passed out.

* * *

_OK, I need another break, this shit is too long… *Huff* *Gulp* … OK, I'm good. Moving on._

* * *

_And so, Sasuke continued his search for the books, all the way on his voyage wondering about the sinful looking blonde that made his blood boil and heart thump wildly. It took him half a day to arrive at the big looking castle; where he sat down in the shade and pondered how the heck it was still a day time? And that is when he chanced a meeting upon the Inuzuka Rabbit._

"Hey you!" He yelled, disturbing the brunette hybrid from his hoping around the rose garden. Kiba turned confusedly, spotted Sasuke and hoped to him.

"What?" He all but growled. Sasuke frowned:

"Don't what me. It's all your fault I'm in this shitty world…" He was playing the guilt card good, for Kiba's face paled right when he said it.

"Oh shit man! You're the outsider?"

"My name is Sauske, thank you." Kiba started flapping his arms around widely.

"Oh crap, man, I'm so sorry I dunno how…" Sasuke smirked; gottcha!

"Look, can you give me some stupid orange book?" Here, Kiba's face fell back into confusion. "Kakashi said he'll send me back if I gather the rest.." Kiba's mouth stretched into a grateful grin.

"No prob man!" He digged around his messenger bag which Sauske noticed just now, before pulling it out with 'Aha!' and handing it to the smirking raven.

"Here, bro, it's not like I need it." Sasuke's eyebrow rose, but he asked no questions. Well, not about that.

"Say, do you know Cheshire Cat?" The Rabbit nodded enthusiastically.

"Who doesn't man? Half of the guys are nuts about him… Not me though! I have my Hina-chan!" Kiba was one lucky guy he said this in time, for Sasuke would pulverize him if he didn't. He waited silently for him to continue. "He's a real deal, y'know?" No he didn't, but he nodded affirmatively. "I mean yeah, the Queen's an official big boss, but he's the one leading the business." Here, Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed.

"You mean that laundering stuff?" Kiba bobbed his head.

"Laundering money, weapon trafficking, drug selling… y'know, things like that." Great- the hot and smoky blonde was a Mob Boss. _Lovely_.

"We all thought he was gonna end up dead one day, with all that back-talking to the Queen. But _man_!" Kiba yelled. "He's like, _untouchable_!" Sasuke smirked; oh, he'll touch him all right.

Saying his thanks, Sasuke proceed to the castle, where the last _orange_ book laid. All that was left for him after this was to convince the Naruto guy to hand over his, and he'll be home in no time!

Just about when he was thinking along those lines, a wide, recognizable grin appeared in the thin air.

"_Ah!_" Goddammit, calm yourself down Sasuke! "_It's the outsider!~_" The blonde's face appeared, now without the grin.

"Cheshire Cat." He replied, containing himself from jumping that smoking hot body.

"You're just in time for a trial!" Trial, what trial? The Cat beckoned him to follow him, leading him into the castle. "Our _dearest_ Queen is holding one; it seems like somebody stole her cookies." From his mischievous smile, Sasuke could bet his life he did it.

"**Of with his head!**" A loud pitch voice was heard. The Blondie and Sasuke entered the court room from the back, mingling with people (_and hybrids alike_) in the crowd. Sasuke could recognize Kakashi and Iruka, standing not far from them; Sakura, Ino and Sai too were there, conversing with Kiba and blue haired girl. Shikamaru, figures, was not there, obviously too lazy/sleepy/passed out to come. A bunch of others he didn't recognize, but why did that matter? The Cat was here, standing closely beside him, chuckling.

"That's the offended, Knave Suigetsu." He looked in the center of the room, where a pale blue headed male, with pointy teeth was frowning.

"You can't behead me, _mother_." A pair of redheads (_though the guy was more orange_) stared at him dumbly. The man turned to the woman:

"True, my Queen. He is our son." Ah, so their Majesties. Speaking of redheads, where were the twins.

The lithe body pressed into his, sending chills through his one; who cares about those idiots? The Cat was here, pressing into him nicely… Ah, he smelled like strawberries… Maybe if he sniffed a little…

"And besides, I didn't eat them." A heated murmur passed through the room unsettling the Queen.

"**Silence!**" It stopped. "**Who ate them then? Duchess?**" Sakura paled.

"Oh no, your Majesty, I was not here for your game- I arrived shortly before the trial." The Queen frowned.

"**Then Hatter! March Hare!**" Kakashi stepped forward, giggling.

"Well, your Majesty, seeing as Iruka and I were busy in the barn.." Iruka and half of the mass, including the Queen, blushed furiously.

"**Then… Cheshire!**" The Cat chuckled, everyone's attention turning to him. "**Did you touch my dessert?**" The blonde shrugged.

"And if I did?" A horrified gasp was heard. The Queen started turning redder and redder, from anger Sasuke presumed.

"**Off with his head!**" The two guards started nearing them and that's when the Cat grinned. His body dissolved, leaving only his head visible in the air.

"Dear Queen, how will you behead bodiless head?" To this, everybody's eyes widened; King and Queen started whispering something between them; the Knave Suigetsu giving thumbs up to the Cat. Sasuke grimaced; who the fuck was he to make moves on his Cat? Mind you, the Cat was not his… Yet.

So, with the thought of impressing the Cat set in his mind, he spoke:

"Why does it matter who ate a few measly cookies?" Again with that gasp. The bewildered look of Queen's settled on him. And just about when she was to say 'Off with his head!' her eyes took that oh-so known look to Sasuke.

"Well, crap."

"**Who are you, beautiful stranger?**" Her eyes, now hearts, were unblinkingly watching his every move.

"An outsider, my Queen." The Cat said, amused by Sasuke's outburst. Sasuke, albeit glad the Cat was paying attention to him, still wished for his body to turn back; so he can ogle him, of course.

"His name is Sasuke Uchiha." Supplied Kakashi. Was it just Sasuke, or did the Cat's eyes sparkle at his name?

The Cat threw a look at the Queen, who was intent on swallowing Sasuke with her love-struck eyes, and then gave a grin to the raven.

Great, he's gone. What now?

Oh, yeah the book. He cringed, thinking of having to converse with the crazy Queen. No way in hell will he do that! Maybe, later at night, he'll sneak up and steal it. Yes, that sounded like a good plan. He quickly high tailed out of the castle

Hiding behind the bushes of half white, half red roses, he relaxed. Why was he cursed by this thing again?

"_Sasuke-kun…~_" He buckled, he really did. Looking up, a bit shakily, he saw the grin.

"Cheshire…"

"Please…" The blonde appeared, handing him the orange book which he took from the Queen. 'So that's where he went!' Sasuke thought, his shoulders relaxing visibly. "Call me Naruto." Mmm, Naru… Wait, what?

"You're Naruto?" The blonde nodded.

"You're Jiraya's godson?" Again, the nod.

"You're the one from whom I'm supposed to get the special edition?" Here, he grinned evilly. Looking hotter than he ever did, Sasuke concluded.

After a minute of silence, Naruto grew bored.

"What are you thinking about?" Sasuke shrugged.

"About how to make you fork it over?" Naruto grinned yet again- but thankfully, didn't disappear.

"And? What's you strategy?" Sasuke raised his eyes, burning them into the crystal blues.

"Something along the lines of fucking you senseless until you submit to me." An electrical something passed around them, the two looking at each other intently; none wanting to break it. Finally, after what seemed like centuries, Naruto giggled. God, he was such a uke! 'My uke, soon enough.' Sasuke proudly thought.

"That's a quite good plan you got there, Sasuke-kun."

"Glad you agree." He whispered and jumped the blonde, who kept chuckling between the kisses making his partner groan in satisfaction.

_One heated make-out and other things session later_

"So…" Sasuke said, tucking his shirt in. Naruto stood in front of him, zipping up his leather pants.

"Am I supposed to give you the book now?" He asked, with an arched eyebrow. Sasuke frowned; that was not what he wanted to ask. Right now, he didn't even want to go home, not without the sexy blonde.

At his scowling face, Naruto chuckled.

"Relax, I'll give it. It's not like I have any interest in it; those books are boring as hell, not to mention perverted much." Perverted, huh? "Not for us, trust me." Bugger. "I just didn't want to give it to Kakashi before, 'coz I enjoy torturing him." Sasuke could agree with that.

"But wasn't it a memento from your dead godfather?" Naruto cocked an eyebrow; again, Sasuke noted.

"What are you talking about? Jiraya's not dead." OK, now he was confused. Didn't Kakashi say… ?

"He's in _your_ world, idiot." What what, in the butt?

Naruto clasped his hands, nodding thoughtfully.

""Yeah, we came here when I was five… Well, actually, we _wandered_ in."

Wait, so Naruto was actually from his world? Possibly from his village? Maybe human? Not that he minded the tail and ears, they were quite erotic…

"Get your mind off your libido for a sec here." Naruto growled. Sasuke gulped.

"Anyways, it took us years to find a way home. He went back, said the girls were better on the other side." Sasuke frowned.

"And you? Why'd you stay?" Naruto sighed.

"Well, I grew up here, right? My tails and ears prove it. I couldn't just _leave_ like that." Fuck that, if he came before, they could've met years before; and start with this relationship sooner than later.

"Not before I took care of things here. And why me, bastard? You could've come here before, also." What the… Is he reading his mind? "You're face says it all, bitch." Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

"If anybody's a bitch…"

"I'm uke- you're a bitch." Sasuke's eyes glared a little bit more, before he complied. He could work with that. Naruto smiled gently, his fingers brushing the stray of raven hair from Sasuke's face.

"So… Will you be coming back?" Naruto thought of it for a bit; which Sasuke hated. He's supposed to say yes right away, not think about it!

"I think I will… But, I have to do something first."

"What?" Sasuke said his tone softer and happier. Right on cue, the castle exploded in pieces. Naruto grinned.

"Done." Sasuke could only gape.

_Thankfully, there was nobody in the castle- Iruka and Kakashi warned them about what will happen. Sasuke and Naruto presented the silver Hatter with five books, to which he cried joyfully. One tearful goodbye later (Iruka) and a warning shot (Gaara-dum and Sasori-dee) they were off. Surprisingly, Kakashi simply muttered some words and harsh air sucked them up._

_When they both woke up under the same shade Sasuke napped before he ventured to Launderworld, Naruto still had his ears and tail; which he gladly approved of, Sasuke agreeing instantly. They also found out he kept that annoying, to Sasuke at least, habit of disappearance._

_Sasuke really shouldn't have been surprised when he found out Naruto was a Senju- his great, great grandmother being Tsunade's grandmother, Mito. Not to mention his father, who was the Fourth Hokage- meaning a Senju. But he was, and for the first time in his life, he fainted- elegantly, naturally. _

_We could say everything went well from then on- if you didn't count a horde of hormone driven teens chasing after Naruto and mostly of them being Uchiha's. Not to mention Tsunade proclaiming Naruto Sixth Hokage, due to him having experience with 'bossing around', and dumping all the work to him; fleeing to what she called, a well-deserved vacation. Thus, cutting half of Sasuke's time with Naruto, to which the raven responded with trashing third of the village on his rampage. And seriously maiming half of the population._

* * *

_So there you have it, my dearest audience, another story is closed. Did you enjoy it? … I know it's a little bit twisted… Ok, largely, but it's a mix! A crossover which will not be put like that… Yes, you can take the cookies… And the mushrooms… No I will not tell you where I got it… Maybe, I'll have to write… I mean __**find**__ another story… We'll see when… __**Freaking bastard! My mushrooms are delicious! Come 'ere and say that to my face!**_

"The fuck man… She's gotta be on some meds…"

"She is."

"Really? Who's her doc?"

"Dude."

"What?"

* * *

**A/N: And I am- thought on the nerves replenishment ones, nothing serious.**


End file.
